I sit here with my wounded heart;
longing for levity but once again falling short.
I am angry no more.
I am desperate in my quest to see your face, hear your voice.
But here I sit, missing you.
Disbelief has carefully constructed her web.
My objection only empowers her, rendering me helpless.
To yield, I must accept your absence.
No not yet, I am an infant in this process.
I seek guidance, crave peace.
But once again I’m missing you.
The journey is long, my mind weary, my heart heavy.
I can’t reconcile this new reality.
Can it be true? Did your tender heart stop beating?
I cling desperately to my belief in life beyond this place;
The hope of reunion is my only solace.
Memories flicker their highs and lows.
And I continue missing you.
I am conflicted.
Acceptance so closely resembles betrayal.
There is no disparity between giving up and giving in.
Yet I know I must cease waging this emotional war.
My raw, gaping wounds must heal.
One day I will walk in the company of peace and serenity.
But even then, I’ll be missing you.